~ Opinion ~I’ll never forget my Dad telling me that I wasn’t going to university. In his words it was a complete “waste of time, and students were all bludgers, blights on the country” and he meant it. A few talks (arguments!) later, I had enrolled and chosen my courses. I have been working with people where the reverse is true, a family member or friend, ‘voluntells’ them in very persuasive language that university is a great idea!This seemingly small discussion and subsequent decision can have a huge impact on the direction of your life. For example, the one decision to go to university or take up a trade, can provide you with a ready-made network where friendships can become lifelong, but morethan that, when you are stuck in your career or business, you have someone call who can help you out in a range of specialist areas - depending on what your mates have qualified in!In business, a strong and robust network is essential to survival.It could be, that someone at a meeting suggests you give a person a call in your career field of interest, and that one call can turn into a role, a new business, a new career direction orsignificant mentor.Making the most of every opportunity that comes your way is called ‘Happenstance’ in careers terms. These so-called chance life encounters and situations take courage, belief in yourself, and a belief that others will help you out with your life journey. There are seldom any coincidences, but rather opportunities for you to pick up on and run with, leading to twists and turns in your career direction. Careers are not a path to follow, but rather like a river that ebbs and flows, sometimes dumping you on the rocks, or leaving you to navigate boulders and floating logs. Careers can also be calm and steady for long periods of time.There is one thing that be guaranteed if you take this ‘Happenstance’ approach, and that is change.For myself, that one decision to go to university led me overseas, working to release political prisoners from jail, and then on to my life’s work - to create a more equitable society throughcareer development. What could be more satisfying. Thanks Dad for the argument!Jenny Bean is a professional member of the Career Development Association of NZ (CDANZ). If you are looking for career development support (personal or organisational), contact her at CareerBeanz.

An Ōamaru man was arrested on Monday night after a rescue helicopter was targeted with a high-powered laser.At about 10pm on Monday, police were notified by the Otago Rescue Helicopter that a laser had been pointed at them, Ōamaru Police Sergeant Tony Woodbridge says. “The laser was shined at the helicopter for a total of four minutes, which is incredibly irresponsible and dangerous,” Sgt Woodbridge says.“Pointing a laser at any aircraft can affect a pilot’s ability to safely control the plane or helicopter and can cause loss of vision. Even from several metres or even kilometres, this can cause serious harm.“Emergency services and our community rely on that chopper service and putting the chopper pilot at risk puts people’s lives at risk.”The helicopter hovered above north Ōamaru to pinpoint where the laser had come from, locating the alleged offender’s whereabouts and informing police.The alleged offender got into his car, drove north from his home address and went into a covered petrol station in an attempt to hide from the helicopter, Sgt Woodbridge says.Police on the ground were guided to the vehicle, and officers were able to stop the vehicle and arrest the occupant who they say admitted to shining the laser at the aircraft.A laser was recovered from the front seat of the vehicle, and a 39-year-old man charged with endangering transport was bailed to appear in the Ōamaru District Court next Wednesday (27 November).

By Krystal Gibbens, RNZ JournalistThe protest against the Treaty Principles Bill turned into a party after te Hīkoi mō te Tiriti left Parliament and headed to Waitangi Park for music, kai, and a bit of a rest.Tens of thousands protested at Parliament yesterday afternoon, before about 2000 people descended on Waitangi Park, where the sun was shining as live music played.People were camped out on the lawn and food trucks were crammed up, ready to feed a hungry horde.Protesters relax at Waitangi Park after te Hīkoi mō te tiriti reached Parliament. Photo: RNZ / Krystal GibbensPeople RNZ spoke to said they were proud of what they had achieved."I'm really proud of our country, like our community, all coming together and doing all of this to save our treaty and what is right," said Meikura."I feel like we've definitely made history. Especially internationally, everybody is talking about Hana [Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke] and her haka, and that inspired us all to do what we're doing now, to come together as one," said Serenity.Protesters relax at Waitangi Park after te Hīkoi mō te tiriti reached Parliament. Photo: RNZ / Krystal GibbensTreaty Principles Bill architect David Seymour stood in front of protesters outside the Beehive to acknowledge the hīkoi yesterday.But he later told Checkpoint he did not think it was representative of New Zealand.About a million New Zealanders whakapapa Māori, he said, with seven of them in Cabinet, three in the ACT caucus, and "about 0.2 percent who are out in front of Parliament right now".Protesters relax at Waitangi Park after te Hīkoi mō te tiriti reached Parliament. Photo: RNZ / Krystal GibbensSeymour said his Treaty bill created a country of individuals with equal rights, regardless of race, religion or other background, "because you're human, you have basic rights and that message is resonating very strongly".Those that took part in the hīkoi had a lot to say about Seymour, and his bill.Tamati suggested instead of banning Seymour, instead of gang patches.New laws banning gang patches come into effect on 21 November.Protesters relax at Waitangi Park after te Hīkoi mō te tiriti reached Parliament. Photo: RNZ / Krystal GibbensTukaki said it had united a lot of people, "especially our Māori people with our Tangata Tiriti whanau. And yeah, just if they try to divide us, it backfired, because now we're more stronger than ever I feel".All parties other than ACT have committed to voting the bill down at the second reading, which would stop it from passing into law.Protesters relax at Waitangi Park after te Hīkoi mō te tiriti reached Parliament. Photo: RNZ / Krystal GibbensLagi hoped the parties stuck to that commitment."We will hold you to account through your words - and actions speak louder than your words - so we will watch with anticipation to see if those words actually come through in the actions of the party."The Bill has now been sent to select committee for six-month public hearing process.Submissions are open until 7 January. - RNZ

New Forrester Gallery curator Anna McLean is excited to be part of the building’s future as it expands.Anna has been in her new position for a few months now, having been appointed to the role following the end of a curatorial internship at Dunedin Public Art Gallery.“I wanted to stay down south, this job came up and somehow I got it,” she says.Hailing from New Plymouth, Anna had worked at Govett-Brewster Art Gallery/Len Lye Centre, and says the two places have a similar “strong regional mindset”.  “I'm quite into contemporary art and I kind of took this position knowing the growth the gallery can have going into the future with the upcoming extension which is about to start, and I think it's got really cool histories.“I'm quite interested in looking at historical collections or spaces and how they can be recontextualised in a contemporary or a new way of thinking,” she says. “I think it's just kind of like reviewing those existing ideologies and offering something different, like the same way of looking at it, but just different, you know?”Although Anna went to Elam School of Fine Arts in Auckland, before completing her museum studies, she is reluctant to call herself an artist.“I don't know . . . I take photos . . . my brain's kind of weird like an artist, but I'm not really. I find being a curator kind of takes up all my time.“But yeah, I'm really keen to get things going for local artists. I think having the Crucible Residency here and working with Sian (Quennell Torrington) and other residents has been really good to see what we can figure out."Anna also plans to draw more people into the gallery by running events alongside exhibitions. “Like late nights, and yoga in the gallery and stuff. Some bands playing, some DJs, just make it a bit of fun.” She thinks it's important to be reaching out to more community groups. “This gallery has a good relationship with people in the community, but there's so many community groups that we're not reaching too.”A piece from Caroline McQuarrie's Like the Turf. Photo: SuppliedAnna’s work blurs into life, and life blurs into work.“I'm just always doing art stuff.“I'm going to other galleries on the weekends. I still have a lot to do with Dunedin and a lot of artists in Dunedin are like you're here more than the Dunedin creative people are, but I just think it's just down the road and yeah . . . I just like to be connected.”Anna says she’s been using her camera more lately, exploring her new home, and it’s been nice to be a bit more creative again.“I'm kind of still figuring the place out, which has been fun, and finding new places and new people. It's a cool place.“It's so amazing to have so many people that just take such an interest in the gallery and the art scene.”Five new exhibitions have been added to the gallery in November, four of which will run until the end of January next year.Caroline McQuarrie’s Like The Turf is an exploration of Pākehā histories of colonial settlement from Cornwall and Devon, combining photos, embroidery and textiles to bring to the fore the “lesser known histories” of women and families, weaving them into a landscape marked by industry.“Caroline's based in Wellington and she's a lecturer at Massey,” Anna says.“She spent time doing a residency at the University of Plymouth in the UK, and then came back and saw quite close similarities between mining and migration and that, between New Zealand and the UK.”Sharon Mitchell's Alice in Victorian Wonderland has been popular with visitors. Photo: Ashley SmythIn The Vault, is Ōamaru artist Sharon Mitchell's Alice in Victorian Wonderland, which has been popular with all visitors, Anna says.“Almost all of these works have sold, which is awesome.”The works are a blend of cloth needle-sculpture and needle-felted characters from the classic Lewis Caroll story, and each Wonderland character has a corresponding label, offering it an “alternative” or “lesser-known” history.Dunedin artist Victoria McIntosh’s Sitting Pretty: The Desserts of Discontent is a collection of beige or “skin-coloured” cakes, made from secondhand shapewear, lace, elastic, Tupperware and more.The cakes are inspired by Mrs Beeton’s Book of Cookery and Household Management (1861). These perfectly formed sculptures explore shared experiences relating to body image, self-expression and autonomy.Another local artist, Ken Laraman, expresses his views on sea pollution, climate change, consequential ignorance and environmental loss, in his exhibition The Forest Howls Tonight upstairs in the community gallery space.Perfect pieces from Victoria McIntosh's Sitting Pretty: The Desserts of Discontent. Photo: SuppliedFor every painting sold from this exhibition, a donation will be made to charity.The fifth exhibition, Seriously Valuable Art, is a touring collection which has come from Ashburton Art Gallery, Anna says.“Everything in it is, they’re works that haven't cost the collector much money, but it encourages people to get involved with collecting in their own sort of ways, without pressure.“So everything cost $500 or less. But, there's a catch that one work is not, and it is worth, like, probably tens of thousands or even in the hundreds. You've got to try and figure it out.”The only instructions from the collector was “put them wherever you want, just don't make them look like a Te Papa show, and have one work on a huge wall”, Anna says.The Forest Howls Tonight runs until December 8, to make way for Wonderlab exhibition Warm Fuzzies, while the others will be showing until January 26, next year.Part of the proceeds from each painting sold in The Forest Howls Tonight exhibition will be donated to charity. Photo: Supplied

By RNZ reporter Serena SolomonIt all started around a summer campfire on the West Coast of New Zealand.A bunch of Kiwi blokes were throwing around ideas for a coffee table book. It wasn't a completely random conversation because award-winning photographer Derek Morrison was in the group and he had already produced some top-selling photography books, including Surf Dreams and New Zealand Surf Culture.Someone suggested a book on pies."We all laughed and we didn't all take it seriously until the next day and then we thought 'Actually, that's a really good idea,'" Morrison told RNZ's Nine to Noon.Listen on Nine to Noon here: Celebrating Aotearoa's Gourmet PiesOver the next few years, that fireside group expanded and fanned out around the country finding and tasting potential subjects for Morrison's latest coffee table New Zealand's Best Gourmet Pies. It was published last month."I had about 80 people sending me photos of pies that should be in the book and the concept just took on a life of its own. I knew that there was something really good there."Photographer Derek Morrison and his coffee table book New Zealand's Best Gourmet Pie. Photo: Taya MorrisonNew Zealand's Best Gourmet Pies isn't just food porn where the 38 selected pies are the celebrated focal point. The coffee table book peels back the story behind each pie and its place of origin in photos and words.For the ultimate pie enthusiast, a companion tea towel is available providing a road trip map with all 38 pie locations around New Zealand.The pies are a few steps beyond your grisly mince offering at whatever petrol station. One of the standout inclusions for Morrison is the beef rendang pie from the Lunch Bar in Port Chalmers, near Dunedin.The beef rendang pie from the Lunch Bar. Photo: Derek MorrisonThe pie came about when a baker hired someone who came from Malaysia and they collaborated on the flavour."I had one in 2012. I will never forget it. I drove away thinking I'm going to get another one."Unfortunately for Morrison, the bakery made a limited number each day and every time he stopped by it was sold out. It would be five years before he got his hands on another one. The third time he had the pie, he was photographing it for the book."I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with Port Chalmers down there and the Lunch Bar."One love-it-or-hate-it inclusion in the book is the pāua pie. Most people are used to eating the New Zealand shellfish via oceanside barbecue, but in this instance, it's creamy paua mince wrapped in pastry."It is probably way more delicious than you think it might be if you are not a pāua fan and if you are a pāua fan, then it's like heaven."Pies are known for their portability - pull over in a car, grab a pie and eat while driving. A key to that is the integrity of the pastry."A bit of hot mince on the inner thigh is not good."Nada Bakery in Wellington has been a family business for almost 50 years. Photo: Derek MorrisonMorrison met many "pastry whisperers" on his travels, including the baker behind Fat Bastard Pies in Invercargill. He built himself a climate-controlled bakery to perfect his pastry."He is so passionate about the science of pastry. For him, it is a no-brainer."Pastry "crumb fall," as the fireside group called it, became one of the measures for a pie's inclusion in the book."How much crumb fall you had on your t-shirt was a good sign."An eggs benedict inspired pie from Salut Pies in Wellington. Photo: Derek MorrisonMorrison spent time with legendary New Zealand pie maker Patrick Lam in Tauranga who works almost around the clock on his craft.In Wellington, he visited Salut Pies where Joe and Carey Player have clocked up more than 1,600 flavours with new creations almost daily.The one that appears in the book is a pie inspired by eggs benedict with salmon, spinach, eggs and hollandaise sauce."I don't really know how he does it. When you cut it, [the sauce] just pours out. It's theatre." - RNZ

By Isra'a Emhail via RNZHow about this weather? Got any New Year's resolutions? Any plans for the school holidays?This time of year we're forced into even more small talk situations than normal, as Christmas events are added to the calendar with family, friends and end-of-year office mixers.Robert Poynton reckons feeling awkward about breaking ice and making chit-chat is totally normal. The University of Oxford associate fellow helps leaders have fruitful conversations and has written the book, Do Conversations: There is no such thing as small talk.But there are ways to take the edge off, and audience warm-up guy Sam Smith has some skills in this area. He's been chatting with crowds of strangers for about nine years in his role as a live audience warm-up person for TV shows like 7 Days, Jono and Ben at Ten and New Zealand's version of Family Feud. But even he admits "sometimes it's horrifically awkward"."The psychology of it is that you're worried that you might make a bad impression about these new people you're meeting ... but that means you want to make a good impression with those people," Smith explains.So how can we navigate all the potential drama without feeling like dorks?Do I have to make small talk?Robert Poynton. Photo: Supplied via RNZToo often we undermine and overlook the importance of small talk, Poynton says."The thing about small talk is it's designed to be small. It's designed to get you somewhere else. So actually, if we were being more rigorous, what we'd say is we don't like getting stuck in small talk."Small talk always has potential, it always has possibility and it's a necessary phase."Adam Mastroianni, an experimental psychologist based in Washington in the United States, told RNZ that getting to know someone takes time and people who want to skip small talk may be regarded as suspect."Someone who wants to speed past the part where we get to know each other is a little bit suspect, it's like 'what is it about you that makes you want to skip the part where you reveal to me that you're someone that I would like to talk to'."How to break the icePoynton says weather chat is a universal commonality - no one can say they don't know about it.But Smith says it drives him crazy to see people who have known each other for years catch up on something trivial.So here are his tips to get the ball rolling:Loosen up the other person with humour to get over the awkwardness. Smith likes to drop some 'would you rather' questions. "This is when comedian me comes out. Just something that will loosen them up like 'if you had to murder someone, who would it be?' ... people don't normally answer those questions, and if they do, you can probably call the authorities straight away."Ask the basics (their job, their family, what they did today), and from that you might find a string of commonality you can draw on. For example, if you know someone with the same name, or know something about their job, or have a similar hobby. "The more you do that, the more they feel like they've been listened to.""If someone has an accent, I will often be like 'oh, do you have an accent?' and that will mean they can tell me about which country they're from."For people you haven't caught up with in a while, acknowledge the time apart and get them to unload. That usually keeps the conversation going and you can just prod them along with more questions.Sam Smith Photo: supplied/Promotional via RNZWhen you ask someone what they do for a living, "that must be hard" is a response which "gives value and worth to what they're doing, and it also engages their imagination", Poynton offers.Pick up on 'door knobs' to dive deeper. Coined by Mastroianni, a 'door knob' is a strong or bold statement with an element of confession, which opens the door to the next stage of the conversation.Or you can try the fast friends task to get some ideas - it starts off with small talk questions and then dives deeper for those you're wanting to get intimate with.If someone raises a tough question (usually it's politics), you can buy yourself time by initially saying "that's a really good question", Smith says."If I'm uncomfortable with something, I'd say like 'oh, we're not doing politics chat' ... point it out and like front foot it so that you don't have to get into it." Or diverting them with another question can be a good idea."Deeper Questions: A new card game to get people talkingIt's going badly, how do I get out of it?Smith has a few exit strategies up his sleeve. You could fake an urgent phone call or tell them you need the bathroom. If they keep talking, tell them you have diarrhoea."No one will ever question you on that. You will always be able to leave that situation and that person will not want to talk to you again."Another good exit strategy is to say you need something like 'oh I'm gonna go grab another drink' or 'I'm gonna go grab some food'."Or introduce them to someone ... and then fade into the background."Say like 'oh, I better keep doing the rounds' is another great line for moving around."When do I stop talking?Think of the purpose and context of the conversation and you'll know when to stop, Poynton says."I think it will also depend on personality. So there are those people that don't know when to stop and talk too much and there are those people who don't ever give anybody enough to go on."The skill is to develop a sensitivity and an awareness ... and a lot of that is about paying attention to the people you're talking with."You've just got to develop the capacity to sense that. But that won't happen if you don't think it's important, so recognising, even whilst you're talking, the importance of paying attention to others is kind of a fundamental part."Smith says if you've shot yourself in the foot by asking something that you're not sure you should have, point it out and apologise and tell them they don't have to answer.How do I get the balance right?Poynton says there's no hack to finding that sweet spot between showing interest and not oversharing or prying too much."If you accept and understand it's a practice, it's easy to get out of that trap of thinking there's a secret," Poynton says. "At the same time, it's kind of like, you'll never be done, this is complex, rich, deep, hard."Don't get too caught up, and remember it's about improving your relationships, he says."Rather than dwell on the bits that are a bit more uncomfortable that don't really work, I think it's important to remember what an extraordinary capacity it is. And that actually we're all kind of really good at it already, even with all the technological difficulties that have been introduced."Smith agrees that it gets easier the more you talk to people and it's difficult to get it wrong as long as you're being polite and nice."As soon as you take the pressure off yourself, you don't have to be an entertaining, hilarious, insightful person when you meet someone, if you're just polite then people will go with you." - RNZ

Beach Road will remain closed until a decision can be made on its future.Project Reclaim, the Waitaki District Council’s programme of removing historic landfills and fly-tipping at risk of contaminating coastal Waitaki, wrapped up the extraction phase earlier this month.The excavation work at Beach Road revealed 58% more historic fly-tipped waste than the estimated 12,000 tonne, across two sites, council infrastructure manager Joshua Rendell says.The removal of the 19,000 tonne of waste, required larger earthworks to take place at both sites, and surveying is being undertaken to determine options for the road.The site has been passed from Fulton Hogan back to the council, and in order to save on traffic management costs, barriers have been established at either end of the Beach Road closure, and will remain there until a decision is made regarding its future, Joshua says.Project Reclaim involved the creation of a new landfill cell at the former Palmerston landfill site and close to 48,000 tonne of waste from from the closed Hampden Landfill was also moved there.The total waste removed was the equivalent of nearly 45,000 2024 Toyota Hiluxes, 1 and a half RMS Titanics or 3.1 Auckland Sky Towers, he says.The project was carried out to prevent an environmental disaster along the coastline, and has been completed successfully, Joshua says.Another shot of the coastal work, which has affected Beach Road. Photo: Supplied

By Kate Green , ReporterThe government is considering charging visitors more to access national parks and other conservation areas, and making it easier for private businesses to operate within them.The Department of Conservation has released two documents for public consultation on "modernising" conservation, seeking feedback on questions like who should pay visitor fees and where, and what that money should go towards.The priorities included fixing concession prices, generating new revenue, targeting investment into "high-value conservation outcomes" and strengthening relationships with iwi.Conservation minister Tama Potaka said the aim was "to protect relevant natural areas while supporting sustainable growth in tourism and regional economies".He said the concessions process - through which private companies gained permission to operate in areas under environmental protection - was too complex and took too long."The world has changed considerably since the Conservation Act was enacted in 1987," he said.Listen to Morning Report: Govt seeking feedback on proposal to charge for access to national parks"We are asking people to get their feedback around the potential to charge for access in some places, not all places, not most places, but in some very popular places," Potaka told Morning Report."We are asking for people's views, and people's comments on these ideas. Nothing is set in stone."We will change the law because at the moment the law is, you aren't able to charge for access into National Parks, but we are able to charge for some things like the use of huts or car parks or other facilities that the Department of Conservation is looking after."Internationally, Potaka said that in Australia you pay to go to Uluru, and in America you pay to go to Yellowstone.Between July 2023 and July 2024, DOC's total budget was $644.2 million, excluding Jobs for Nature funding. Of this, $233.1m was used to support recreational activities and maintain the visitor network and $315.7m for biodiversity work.The Government provided around 83 percent of the funding, while 17 percent came from other sources and third parties.Last week, DOC announced it would be partnering with the New Zealand Nature Fund to bring in private and philanthropic donations to fund its work.And on 1 October, the International Visitor Levy was increased from $35 to $100 per person - however at the time, Potaka's office could not confirm whether the revenue would be evenly split between conservation and tourism, as it had been in the past.On Wednesday, DOC announced plans to introduce a paid parking pilot at Punakaiki Pancake Rocks, Franz Josef Glacier, and White Horse Hill at Aoraki Mount Cook National ParkAccording to the new proposal documents, fees for huts, campsites and carparks generated $25.4m.Potaka said on Friday access fees were common overseas to maintain popular sites, and one of the proposal documents described fees inequalities under the current system.For example, 25 percent of people who walk the Tongariro Alpine Crossing used private transport and are not required to pay a fee for the use of any facilities, such as the track and toilets.The other 75 percent of visitors used a commercial shuttle service and therefore paid a $3 community contribution fee that partly contributed towards facilities.Three options for change were now being considered; charge everyone the same, charge New Zealanders less than international visitors, or only charge international visitors and let New Zealanders access conservation areas for free.The discussion documents are available on the Department of Conservation website, and consultation closes at the end of February 2025.

Waitaki Art Trail organisers are taking a gamble running their event on Victorian Heritage weekend, but they’re hoping it will pay dividends.Art Trail convenor Joan Edridge says it was an intentional decision to run alongside the celebrations, which bring thousands of people into the area.“People are going to be in town, but are they going to come visit us? Because they're busy doing other stuff.” There are 17 venues across the region people can visit on either Saturday or Sunday, between 11am and 4pm. Most are in or around Ōamaru, with two in Waimate, two in Palmerston, and Nic Dempster, who is worth making an extra effort for out at Flag Swamp.This is the second time the Art Trail has run, with the first one in June attracting about 120 people, Joan says. Some venues had upwards of 70 visitors last time, while others had less than 10.Maps have been distributed around town, and can be found at the Visitor Centre on Harbour Street, and at the various artist’s venues - including Silenzio Pottery on Thames Street, and Customs House Art Gallery on Tyne Street. A number of the venues are the artist’s own homes. One large incentive to explore the trail is the chance to win a night’s accommodation at SkyScape in Twizel. Any purchase, even a greeting card, will put a person in the draw, Joan says. “So it's a very small trail compared to Kapiti Coast and up north, I think Hawke's Bay, they have something like 300 artists.“We're very small just starting out and we hope that it will grow.” Joan’s own art is “abstract realism”, and she particularly enjoys drawing and painting birds and animals.She plans to paint a picture over the weekend, starting it on Saturday morning, and finishing it Sunday afternoon in time to be auctioned off. Joan will joined at her home by junior guest artist, 15-year-old Cerys Thomas, who will also exhibit work.“She has brilliant art . . . I'm sort of mentoring her.”For more information on the Waitaki Art Trail visit the website. An artwork by junior guest artist Cerys Thomas (15).

By RNZ Political Reporter Anneke SmithIt's D-Day for the government's Treaty Principles Bill , with the legislation up for its first reading after Question Time on Thursday afternoon.Calls for the National Party to abandon its coalition promise to see it through this first leg of the legislative process have fallen flat.Prime Minister Christopher Luxon told reporters on Wednesday he still planned on honouring National's agreement with ACT."We support the bill to first reading and as I've said right from the beginning, we don't support it beyond that and we'll be voting it down."The legislation is before Parliament earlier than expected, with a large protest hīkoi still making its way down the North Island.It hasn't fazed the bill's proponent ACT leader David Seymour who said he believed those opposing the bill just needed to read it.LIsten here on Morning Report: Treaty Principles Bill heads to House for first reading"They say kill the bill, I say read the bill because once you see it, ask yourself what's wrong with the government having the right to govern, the government having an obligation to uphold all people's rights and all people's rights being equal before the law."I don't think the people who are protesting can explain what it is they're opposed to."Thousands of people make their way over Auckland's Harbor Bridge as part of the hīkoi. Photo: Cole Eastham Farrelly via RNZThose RNZ have spoken to at the hīkoi - including Māori lawyer Maree Sylva - have been clear about their position."Te Tiriti o Waitangi is our founding document and the takahi [trampling] of the mana of that document is obviously something we don't support at the moment so we're here to tautoko the kaupapa," Sylva said.The bill sets out to define the Treaty of Waitangi principles that would be used to interpret legislation but critics say it revokes the promises and guarantees made to Māori in 1840.Opposition parties are geared up to fight the bill Thursday, with Te Pāti Māori Debbie Ngarewa-Packer saying the left will work together to oppose it."We've been very vocal in the fact that the opposition are united and stand in solidarity against this atrocious bill.Ngarewa-Packer did not rule out doing anything "special" for the bill's first reading today, instead laughing when asked the question."You know we always do," she said.Labour leader Chris Hipkins said it wasn't too late for National to back down from supporting the legislation through the first reading."They never should have agreed to it in the coalition agreement. They said before the election that they wouldn't support it."I think they've betrayed voters' trust in signing up to it as part of the coalition agreement. I think they should go back to the position that they had before the election. There is no mandate for this bill."Seymour said National was too scared to take on a big debate, going as far as predicting it would go on to take the credit for the bill down the track."Often, like Three Strikes, like charter schools, give it a few years and the National Party says 'best thing we ever thought of'," Seymour said.It's more than likely Luxon would like to stop thinking about the Treaty Principles Bill soon, having described it as "divisive".But the debate is only just starting, with a six month long Select Committee process ahead before the legislation is read a second time.Those living in the middle of the North Island can expect to see the hīkoi pass by in the coming days as it makes its way south - expected to arrive in Wellington on Tuesday next week. - RNZ

By RNZ Senior Reporter Tim BrownAnalysis - "Today we feel you here with us," the Prime Minister said yesterday, in acknowledgement of the thousands of victims of abuse who died waiting for recognition and died waiting for an apology.He said it to a packed parliamentary gallery.About 250 people sat in silence, their silence reverberating the massive silence of those who were not present.It bears repeating - at least 200,000 children, young people and vulnerable persons were abused by the state and carers trusted by the state with their lives.Eight hundred parliaments could be filled with survivors and victims of the state's abuse, and in reality it could be far more. We will never truly know.And abuse is such a small word.These vulnerable people were beaten, raped, tormented, neglected, isolated, violated and tortured. And to make it worse, when they revealed what was happening, they were told they were lying.Yesterday was their day and they made it known.As state sector leader after leader took to the stage of parliament's banquet hall to offer apologies to survivors they were jeered, they were booed and they were heckled."Apology without change is abuse," one man called out.The obvious vulnerability could be seen in the expression on the state leaders' faces. I wonder if it dawned on them that in this moment of exposure, they could only begin to imagine what it must have been like for survivors in their moments of desperate vulnerability.Not all survivors raised their voice. Some sat in silence. Some turned away. Some walked out. And, remarkably, despite what these institutions had put them through, some even applauded.In the debating chamber, as Christopher Luxon and Chris Hipkins made their apologies, the survivors sat in silence, breathing in the words of the political leaders.As the prime minister concluded his apology with a karakia from Waihoroi Shortland - "Your truth we are challenged to uphold/Your courage we are bound to honour/And your right to be heard, we receive with privilege" - you could hear a pin drop.It was impossible to read what was running through the minds of survivors, but I was fortunate enough to share in some of their their reflections afterward."I don't know how authentic that is," one told me."Empty and hollow words," was how another characterised it."I believe they're sincere - I'm still thinking I might get let down, but I'm hoping I'm wrong," one guarded but optimistic survivor said.The problem is this group has heard it all before.Talk is cheap and after decades - in some cases generations - of trauma and waiting, now words are not enough. It is time for action.As the prime minister acknowledged, many have died waiting for real change, real recognition, and real compensation.But the longer the government takes, the more people who will die waiting. - RNZ

This year’s Victorian Heritage Celebrations are sure to be golden.Preparations are all going to plan for this year’s event, which has a Growing for Gold theme, celebrating the golden prosperity of the Waitaki region, which was a gateway to the Otago goldfields back in the 19th Century. Ōamaru also grew as a supply town for miners.But beyond the actual gold nuggets, organising committee co-chair Cyndi Christensen says there is a golden gleam to many of Waitaki’s attractions.“You know, it can be the gold, the colour of the wheat, the buildings. So you can take it in any direction. Even the whisky and beer are kind of being brought into that.”  Cyndi’s fellow co-chair, Wendy Jones, says the fashion will also be something to behold - with the golden theme weaving its way into a number of creations.And for those with dreams of striking it rich, there will be a panner outside Housekeepers Design on Sunday, to show the whole family how it’s done, with gold to be found in every pan.There are more than 120 events, with new and returned speakers, dancers and other special guests. The majority of the talks are free, or require a gold coin donation.Hokitika historian David Verrall will be coming in character as former New Zealand prime minister Richard Seddon.“He's doing two talks and they're free as well. He'll be really theatrical and bring lots of life to his talks, I think, which is great. He sounds amazing,” Wendy says. A special one-off screening of the Charlie Chaplin silent film The Gold Rush Soiree at Ōamaru’s Riviera Cinema to open the Heritage Celebrations, has already sold out for tonight.  “So people will probably be dressed up as Charlie Chaplin or in their Victorian clothes, turn up, and part of their ticket price of $20 is a drink, some nibbles“So that's been really great, and the new owners are really embracing it. So they already want to come back next year and do more,” Wendy says.Celebrations co-ordinator Everall Deans says the four days offer a once-in-a-lifetime experience for visitors.“It really does feel like you’ve been thrown back in time. You’ve got the vehicles, the people, and seeing the way people dress, it’s like walking inside a living museum.”Croquet in the garden, at a previous Garden Party. Photo: SuppliedAs well as the usual favourites such as Friday’s Garden Party, and Saturday’s national Heritage Bicycle Championships and Grand Parade, there is also the battle for the best scone between nine Ōamaru cafes, and Victorian Christmas gold-themed shop windows.Sunday’s Victorian Fete, a separate event run by the Whitestone Civic Trust which ties in nicely with the Heritage Celebrations, will be similar to last year, but with even more crammed in.It will remain solely on Harbour Street, due to costs associated with closing Tyne Street, and entry will be by donation, Wendy says.“So I think the Fete will be sort of back on track this year, with more entertainment. They'll have stalls, there'll be more activities, and they've definitely put, you know, lots of energy into it.”There is extra incentive for going all out with the facial hair competitions this year, with new trophies created by Ōamaru’s Martin Horspool (Buggy Robot Man) up for grabs, she says.The weekend’s weather is looking perfect for the layers of Victorian garb, although rain is a possibility again for Friday’s Garden Party, which was a wash out last year.“We're keeping fingers crossed for Friday,” Cyndi says. “We make a call at 9am to whether it goes ahead.“Last year was easier because it was raining already. This year, the rain is meant to start at 1 o'clock and the garden party is at 2.30pm.”Last year the unused food was delivered to local rest homes to avoid waste, and people were refunded their $5 ticket fee.As organisers, Cyndi and Wendy hoped all the locals would come and support the weekend.“There just seems to be a lot of great energy around for it, and there's just so much on - over 120 talks, tours and visits,” Cyndi says.“And, you know, there's probably some amazing buildings that you can get into that you normally wouldn't, and it's just such a great way to really learn about Ōamaru's history, and in a really fun way.”People can dress in Victorian costume if they like but are encouraged to enjoy the weekend regardless.“Please just come out and enjoy.”Specific information about the weekend's events can be found online at the Victorian Heritage Celebrations website, or programmes have been distributed among local businesses.

Heritage New Zealand is hoping to get Ōamaru's historic town centre recognised as a National Historic Landmark.It is partnering with the community to get it recognised - which is the highest honour for historic sites in Aotearoa.Ōamaru is recognised as a Tohu Whenua - a place that has shaped Aotearoa New Zealand and is rich with stories and experiences.It is renowned for its well-preserved Victorian architecture and vibrant history, nestled in a landscape of deep cultural significance for Ngāi Tahu whānui.Area manager for Otago/Southland Sarah Gallagher said she was excited at the potential to see Ōamaru get the recognition it deserved."Landmark recognition will honour the town's rich history, architectural heritage and unique spirit, and the efforts of those who have worked hard to preserve and restore the buildings and streetscapes."This recognition will connect visitors and locals alike to the stories of the town's past."The recognition process involves extensive research, collaboration, and consultation with locals, property owners, council, and iwi to capture Ōamaru's story.Waitaki District mayor Gary Kircher supported the initiative."Waitaki is extremely proud of its architecturally significant Ōamaru Whitestone buildings, and we encourage the community to meet the team from Heritage New Zealand during the Ōamaru Heritage Celebrations taking place later this month or have a look at their proposal online."We know we live in a special place and look forward to working with Heritage New Zealand and our local community to reveal the past and map out a future for the beautiful and unique buildings which defines Ōamaru."The first national landmark in our country is at Waitangi in the North Island. It would be very appropriate for the first South Island one to be in Waitaki - the Ngāi Tahu dialect of the same word," Kircher said.Ōamaru Whitestone Civic Trust chairperson Richard Vinbrux said the trust was proud to be working with Heritage New Zealand to achieve the goal."As custodians of some of Ōamaru's most important heritage buildings and streetscapes, the Ōamaru Whitestone Civic Trust has worked for nearly 40 years restoring and maintaining these landmark buildings ensuring their stories are told for generations to come."The National Historic Landmark status will not only enhance the visibility of Ōamaru and Waitaki's historical significance, but also open up new opportunities for the preservation of our built heritage," he said. - RNZ

~ Opinion ~Who doesn’t want our community to thrive? Absolutely no-one.It’s a given but worth remembering from time to time.It’s particularly worth remembering when we see community division.What we saw play out in the US might beggar belief here (no matter which side you’re on) but it’s a good example of where different parts of an individual’s community identity can both dominate or be dominated by one or a few factors.Community isn’t one thing, it’s a composite, unique-to-us union of the different and disparate communities we each belong to or identify with.Think about woman, mother, doctor, yogi and lead singer... or teenager, gamer, pilot, fashionista and advocate... or retiree, dance teacher, protester, grandpa and fruit grower.At any given point in time, each of those characteristics will take precedence over others.Take stalking for example.The government’s proposed anti-stalking legislation was revealed yesterday (Sunday November 10), criminalising stalking behaviours.Stalking behaviours would include recording, tracking, following or loitering nearby and any three of these activities within twelve months could lead to a conviction.How you feel about that will, at least in part, depend on which community you most strongly identify with as you consider it.A dad with a socially awkward son might feel differently about “loitering nearby” than a man with a vulnerable daughter.Put them both in a pub and you’d hope it would lead to some shared perspective rather than division… and not just for them.Our community context does impact on our decisions.The North Otago women who have suffered unsolicited, unwanted and ongoing contact, cited community concerns as reasons for both reporting and not reporting the unwanted behaviour (not reporting because of not wanting to upset people in the community and reporting to protect people in the community).Ultimately, a more connected community leads to more intersections in our unique-to-us community composites.Those connections create more chances to see alternative perspectives, not as threats but as opportunities.It’s harder to tolerate division where you see relatedness.And since we are all a sum of lots of different bits of community input, one hobby, one cause, one passion could be the very thing that opens us up to a different perspective at one of those (myriad) intersections with someone else.Our sports clubs and community groups are part of what keeps us as a community, thriving – physically, mentally and socially.And they're struggling, so they need us to get connected and get involved.That’s why we’ve worked with Real Radio to create Team Up Waitaki – a free-to-everyone community diary of local sports and social clubs and community group activities.Imagine, all the local group activities, in one place, where everyone can find them.That’s more members, more volunteers and an altogether more inclusive community.Because inclusion is the opposite of division.And who doesn't want our community to thrive?No-one.Get involved. Invite others to connect. Do it today.Cara Tipping Smith is a director of The Business Hive & Waitaki App and holds multiple degrees including psychology and leadership for change. To get involved and add your club or group details to Waitaki App, go to MYwaitakiapp.nz/REAL.

The people of Waitaki are being asked what parts of their home towns need to be highlighted to help form a brand refresh.From today, members of the Waitaki District Council are on tour from Palmerston to Ōmarama, finding out what stories people think need telling about the place they live.The sessions are a follow-up to the council-run Community Conversations which took place around the district in October last year and helped inform the Annual Plan and upcoming Long-Term Plan.Feedback from those conversations, online responses, and engagement with stakeholders and communities helped develop the Waitaki Story and a new brand identity for the district. Council Economic and Community Development manager Mel Jones says this month’s sessions will be a chance for locals to preview the new district brand and hear about how it was developed.“We’re keen for you to share your local stories and your ideas about how to bring the Waitaki Story to life in your town,” she says.The new Waitaki Story branding will significantly contribute to refreshing the township and district entry signage, and ideas from local communities about what their signs could feature will play an important role in replacing the ageing roadside signage across the district.Palmerston Sports Hall is the first stop tonight at 6.30pm (Monday), with Kurow and Duntroon consultation held at Kurow Hall tomorrow from 4.30pm. Hampden, Moeraki and Herbert residents are invited to Hampden Hall on Thursday at 6.30pm. An Ōamaru session will be on Saturday (16 November), 3pm at the Brydone Hotel, the Ōmarama and Ōhau session will be on Sunday (17 November) from 11am at the Ōmarama Community Centre, and then Otematata’s session at the Community Centre will follow that at 3pm. A final session will take place back in Ōamaru on Wednesday, 20 November at the Opera House at 6.30pm.All are welcome and light refreshments will be provided. A Tourism Waitaki grant has helped fund the project.

If passed, the new law will make stalking illegal, punishable by up to five years in prisonCourts will be able to make restraining orders and harmful digital communications orders for stalkingBeing caught stalking could also result in longer sentences for other crimes, with two new aggravating factors being introducedNew details have been revealed about planned changes to make stalking illegal, with offenders facing up to five years in prison.The law change would include behaviours like recording someone, tracking them, following them, or loitering nearby, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith said in a statement.Committing three of those activities within 12 months could lead to a conviction.The changes would also include four other stalking-related amendments, Goldsmith said.This would mean courts are able to make restraining orders and harmful digital communications orders at sentencing, for those convicted of a stalking offence.Two new stalking-related aggravating factors would be introduced, extending sentences for stalkers convicted of other crimes.The definition of psychological violence in the Family Violence Act would also be clarified to specifically include stalking.Finally, those convicted of stalking would also be disqualified from holding a firearms licence.Goldsmith said every New Zealander deserved to feel safe in their community, and the government was committed to ensuring victims were at the heart of the justice system."The public is clearly concerned about stalking, and we are moving quickly to create a new stalking and harassment offence as part of our plan to restore law and order," he said."This comes as part of the Government's commitment to ensuring there [are] 20,000 fewer victims of serious violent crime by 2029, and delivers on the promises made in our Q4 Action Plan."He had in June committed to introducing such legislation by the end of 2024, having previously only committed to doing so before the next election.A member's bill submitted by Labour's Ginny Andersen would also have made stalking a crime punishable by up to five years in prison. It would have pointed also to aspects of family violence that could constitute stalking.It was drafted after the death of 21-year-old Farzana Yaqubi in December 2022, after she was threatened and stalked for weeks - including receiving messages from the offender threatening to throw acid on her face.She had complained to police via the 105 reporting system and made a formal statement earlier in the month of her death, but her complaint had not been progressed.However, the bill has remained in Parliament's biscuit tin, not yet drawn for consideration.A petition signed by almost 8000 people was also submitted to Parliament urging Goldsmith to make stalking a crime.He had already committed ahead of last year's election to look into stalking legislation. - RNZ

~ Opinion ~There is a myth that in order to be successful in your career, you just have to get the right skills, the right qualifications, the right experiences, have the right personality traits, to then match to the roles and jobs that are available in the labour market - essentially, slot yourself into the economy.Taking this approach is tempting and sometimes absolutely necessary, especially when times are tough.With the push to pay the mortgage, career dreams can fade to dust.The fundamental flaw in this approach is that the labour market needs keep changing.So a slot-yourself-into-the-economy approach requires you to keep changing - to bend, stretch and squash, until suddenly you’re not needed anymore when your role is made redundant.Over the last couple of months, I have been working with exceptionally highly skilled people – some of the most highly skilled and qualified people in the country.My role has been to assist them in reviewing their careers and find life after losing a job that they enjoyed and were committed to.What has astounded me, in every case, while there has been grief and anger, there has been a sense of relief; they are finally able to consider something else.Something they have always wanted to do, and longed to do, and they have been given freedom to explore.Now that doesn’t mean forsaking the bills.We all have mortgages to pay, or least the bills keep rolling in and having money is essential, but what about what you really wanted to do?To quote Mary Oliver, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"In your next career decision, if you can’t bring yourself to focus on your dreams, at the very least, think about yourself first.Put yourself at the centre. Ask yourself some core questions such as;What role do values play in your career decisions – would you honestly work for anyone, doing anything?What would you categorically not do?What drives you?How does your career fulfil your life’s purpose?What role does your family and spirituality play in your next career move?How can you make a contribution to your community and the world?Have you explored career constellations, rather than pathways, broadening and widening your options?Is your career stage and age relevant to your decision making?Have you made the most of every opportunity that has come your way?What’s holding you back from working towards what you really want to do?Focussing only on fitting into the current labour market serves a purpose but it will also work against you in the long term – security now, could mean redundancy later on.Remember you are at the centre and in the driver's seat of your life, not the labour market.Jenny Bean is a professional member of the Career Development Association of NZ (CDANZ). If you are looking for career development support (personal or organisational), contact her at CareerBeanz.

The Kurow community has been invited to meet with a clean energy company to discuss the possibility of a wind farm in the area.Aquila Clean Energy APAC (Asia Pacific) is holding two engagement sessions at the Kurow Memorial Hall on Tuesday, 3 December. The first session will run from 1pm to 4pm, and the second from 5pm to 8pm.  On Tuesday, Aquila representatives met with Waitaki Mayor Gary Kircher, Waitaki District Councillors and Ahuriri Community Board Members to discuss the proposed project, a council spokesperson says.It was decided to hold the preliminary briefing behind closed doors, to protect the commercial position of the company, considering the early stage of the project.The meeting was to inform councillors of the potential scope and scale of the project ahead of upcoming public consultation, and according to information released by Aquila, it is anticipated resource consent will be applied for mid-2025.The company has met with landowners of two farms in recent months, and neighbouring landowners regarding the project also on Tuesday of this week.The draft plan is for up 23 wind turbines, with a 200m maximum tip height and rotor diameter of 160m, to be split evenly across the two farms.Information from Aquila which has been shared online shows there are several factors that make the proposed 130MW windfarm a good option, including initial desktop studies showing there’s stong and consistent wind in the proposed area, grid connection options are technically viable, and New Zealand has a need for more renewable energy.The next steps, as well as consultation, is to install wind measurement equipment to collect data at different heights above the ground for at least 12 months, and to engage specialists in areas such as ecology, noise and construction to start field investigations to support the consent application.Those interested in the project can sign up for news and updates by emailing its development team at [email protected]

“Sometimes it's okay to upset people,” says one North Otago woman who has been on the receiving end of alleged inappropriate online behaviour. (4-minute read)Women need to stop worrying about being polite, or “being a good girl”, and start speaking up, she says.In Sergeant Blair Wilkinson’s 30 years as a police officer, online harm has gone from non-existent to an issue police are commonly faced with, although it is still largely under-reported, he says.Sgt Wilkinson, who has been policing in Ōamaru for 15 years, says it comes up regularly here. And everywhere.“It's nothing unique to Ōamaru.”Police hear of unreported situations, through interactions with other organisations working with young people, he says.“So we're hearing a lot - in addition to what's been formally reported - anecdotally, we're hearing of a lot of harm that relates to people's communications online in the community.”What falls under the umbrella of online harm is nuanced. It can range from unwanted messages, particularly if they are from an adult to a person under-16, to threatening somebody, to soliciting pictures or nudes. There are crimes which fall under the Harmful Digital Communications Act of 2015, and some others come directly under the Summary Offences, Crimes or Harassment Acts. “And so it's difficult for anybody, for an individual who's receiving messages that cause a concern, to know which of those acts are likely to have been breached.”He says a person getting messages that make them feel unsafe or victimised should report it to the police.“Then we can analyse it and see whether there's any criminality in it, and even if there's not, sometimes there'll still be something in it that's concerning to us.“That can include if the messages have been sent by somebody who we've previously dealt with for inappropriate behaviour - then that can be a factor which would warrant more of a response.” "If it's expressing an attraction for somebody or a romantic interest or something like that, and it's not reciprocated and that's been communicated, you know, ‘I'm not interested’, and it persists, that would very quickly move into the realms of harassment and quite possibly a breach of the Harmful Digital Communications Act, just depending on the nature of the messages and any images attached.”Another factor taken into consideration by police, is the age of the targeted recipient. Those under the age of 16 are protected under specific pieces of legislation and those under 18 under others.“So if we've got somebody who is outside someone's normal sphere of acquaintances, and there's a considerable age difference, then that could be an alarming factor as well.”Social media, texts and the numerous online platforms which have come along in the last three decades have all come with problems, Sgt Wilkinson says.“Digital harm is a huge factor for us. Most of the issues that we are dealing with in schools now relate to either poor decisions or bullying online.”If it's a teenager-to-teenager issue, the police will first identify whether any offences have been committed.From there, deciding how to deal with that is the same as any other time police are dealing with a young person who has committed an offence.Factors taken into account are the level of intent, the extent of the harm caused, and any previous behaviour of that young person. “It’s something that comes up regularly.”Sgt Wilkinson says people need to be more aware of the risk in some of their behaviour.Exchanging intimate images or nudes is “highly risky”. “We see a lot of harm come out of that, and that's not limited to young people. There are adults who are often affected by that behaviour as well.”People might feel they have an anonymity with what they're doing online, but that doesn't exist, he says.If somebody is concerned about something they're doing being made public - if it's going to be embarrassing or harmful to them - then they probably shouldn't be doing it.Sgt Wilkinson suggests for people wanting more information around online harm and what is and isn’t lawful, Netsafe is a great resource.But he adds that police are always open to receiving information.“If people are getting unwanted messages . . . and they don't know how to deal with it, they can report something to the police and then it can be analysed as to whether it warrants further investigation,” he says. If somebody feels they are in immediate danger, they should dial 111, or for something less urgent, they can phone 105 or file a report online at the 10-5 website.“That will generate a file which will then be assigned to somebody to assess and, if required, investigate. “And sometimes when those kinds of things are reported in isolation, they can seem relatively harmless, but looked at as part of larger picture, they can give rise to concerns which warrant a police follow up.”Sgt Wilkinson says his key message for young people being affected negatively by somebody online, is to tell a trusted adult.Amy’s* storyAmy* was a victim of unwanted digital contact from a man already known to her, and says it is difficult for her to put her finger on when things took an unwelcome turn.“When he was in touch a lot initially and we kind of had open communication and I could see him as a father and a husband and as someone who contributed to the community . . . I enjoyed our interactions.”But something shifted. The messaging became more frequent, and gifts began turning up in places where he knew only Amy would find them - sometimes chocolates, wine or hampers, and even money - would be left in her letterbox or the front seat of her car, for example.“The secrecy attached to the gift giving, that was really - I knew that was wrong and it made me feel very uncomfortable and I tried to return them, but I couldn't, because he would say, ‘Oh no, but my wife will see and then she'll be upset’.“So him being able to operate as a married, seemingly devoted husband and father, meant that for me to do anything, I would have had to upset that.”She was also conscious of gossip that would go around the community as a consequence.“So, suddenly he almost had me kind of trapped, because we have this shared secret, the shared secret of the gift-giving, and then I felt powerless that he had something, sort of, over me. And I think he felt that too. I think he started to feel like he was in a position of coercion. “And it was at that point when he started asking for pictures.” She would block him on one social media channel, and he would contact her through a different one. Because they lived in the same community, he would allegedly show up at her house unannounced, or find excuses to visit.“And I suppose you're always worried that you're kind of complicit, that you're somehow going to get in trouble with people within his family or people within your own family.”While Amy felt she made it clear the gifts and messaging were unwelcome, she had to continue to deal with the man in person, due to the nature of their day-to-day lives. It affected the way she went about her day. She tried to avoid face-to-face interactions, but felt like he always knew where she was. “A message would come through from him, or he would find another way to get hold of me and I would see his name on the screen and had that kind of feeling of anxiousness.“Or I would see him driving behind me and so maybe I go a little bit too fast when I'm driving, or I go a different route and I'm not paying attention and I'm anxious, and I've got my children in the car and it just doesn't feel right. “It's like the clock is ticking on there being some kind of harm caused by this behaviour, even if he's not intentionally the perpetrator of that, he's created an environment of anxiousness and fearfulness that makes people behave in a particular way.”Eventually, the attention died down, and Amy is not sure if she could have handled anything much differently, looking back on it.“I wish I'd spoken to trusted people in my life much sooner for guidance, but I don't know what else I could have done really.  “I had a fear of, like, when I was blocking him on things, that was a last resort because I didn't want him to think I was being overdramatic . . . or that he would be upset with me and there would be some repercussion. I don't know what that is attached to, but I wish I'd been firmer about how I let him communicate with me earlier.“And I wish I reached out to people I knew would support me, to sort of get rid of that feeling of being complicit in a secret.”When she became aware of other women, and worse, teenage girls, allegedly being contacted by the same man, she decided to take the matter to police.“It gave me more urgency. I felt it was imperative . . . he can't seem to stop, and I didn't want anybody to go through what I went through, because it has far-reaching implications on all facets of your life . . . It made me think we need to do something so that we can hopefully stop him being able to do this.”Amy wants women in any community to be aware that if they are being bothered by someone, they don’t have to be polite. It was her fear of being seen as “dramatic” or rocking the boat that kept her stuck in the situation for longer than she needed to be.She was also prompted to talk with her teenager about how to avoid a similar situation.“I would encourage families to have conversations around who's on social media . . . Be really aware of who your children are communicating with and if they are who they say they are, because it's just this place where people like him can operate.”Amy thinks the whole issue of consent is really important.“Because we can give consent about what we let other people do with our bodies or what we do with our bodies, but we don't really have consent around social interactions.“So I think being really firm and really clear, and not being worried about being polite, being a good girl or whatever. Sometimes it's okay to upset people . . . just say please don't contact me,” she says.She also encourages people to trust their gut."If someone's giving you a vibe, it's for a reason. You don't have to do anything dramatic, but you can choose to remove yourself from the situation.“We've got lots of social constructs, you know, schools and committees and sports teams and so on, and if you don't feel comfortable in any of those spaces that you ‘should’ show up in, as a contributing parent or member of your community, talk to a trusted person and come up with a solution.“And if someone's coming to you looking for a solution, they don't have to rationalise why they feel uncomfortable in the space, and we can support each other better by just going ‘if you've got the ick that's enough’.”Maggie’s* storyMaggie* enjoys being relatively active on social media - she sees it as a way of connecting with the people she loves - and regularly posts photos and updates on her life.Her experience of being targeted online also started as the occasional friendly message, but the attention quickly turned into persistent commenting on photos and private messaging, which she says took a “sleazy” turn. “He was asked to stop, but just continued until I had to block him from all socials.” Maggie’s interactions with this person were entirely online.“And almost always private messages rather than open commenting,” she says.“When comments started about my breasts - I was asked what size ‘the twins' were, which led to him describing how these thoughts had ‘affected’ his own body parts - I quickly shut the conversation down and asked him to stop messaging me, as he was married and it made me feel uncomfortable for myself and his family.“Unfortunately, he continued, until eventually I blocked him.” Maggie spoke to her friends about the messaging, and the more she talked about it, the more she heard of others having similar experiences with the same man.“When I was told young girls were being messaged I knew I had to speak out . . . I felt something needed to be done to protect them.”What made the biggest impression on Maggie was how some people made her feel bad about sharing her experiences because they were worried about how it would affect the family of the alleged perpetrator.“Perhaps this is stronger in a small town, I get that, but what if this was happening to your own daughter? “People are very quick to imagine themselves or their family in this situation if their husband or father was being inappropriate to women . . . but what about the women and young girls this is happening to? Do they not deserve to be protected?” Maggie says she has tried not to let the experience affect how she lives her life now, but she does think twice before posting a photo of herself online. “For me, it’s my way to connect to my friends and family who live all around the world.”  *The Waitaki App agreed to change Amy and Maggie's names to protect their identity.Family or Sexual ViolenceIf you are a victim of family violence, sexual violence or there is someone that makes you fearful, threatens or harasses you, seek help as soon as possible. You have the right to be safe.The following helplines available for people needing help:Safe to Talk  sexual harm helpline: 0800 044334, text: 4334, email: [email protected] Crisis: 0800 88 33 00Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843Shine domestic abuse services  free call: 0508 744 633 (24/7, Live Webchat is also available)Hey Bro helpline  - supporting men to be free from violence 0800 HeyBro (439 276)Family violence information line  to find out about local services or how to help someone else: 0800 456 450Oranga Tamariki line for concerns about children and young people: 0508 326 459, email: [email protected],Need to talk? Free call or text: 1737 for mental health support from a trained counsellorYouthline: 0800 376 633, free text: 234, email: [email protected] - for migrant and refugee women - 0800 742 584 - 24 hoursElder Abuse Helpline: 0800 32 668 65 - 24 hours, text: 5032, email: [email protected] te rongo kahukura - outing violence - building rainbow communities free from violenceYou, me, us - promoting healthy queer, trans and takatapui relationshipsSensitive Claims for sexual abuse (ACC) 0800 735 566.