When Ōamaru woman Karen* was considering joining the Buddy Programme, she remembered the adults who took her “under their wing” as she was growing up.

“Which inspired me to do the same,” she says.

The Family Works Buddy Programme is a mentoring programme where an adult “buddy” and a child between the ages of five and twelve are matched together and meet for two to three hours a week.

Karen has been Rachel’s* buddy for two years now, and the relationship has developed over that time.

“When she first came, she would be all ‘look at me’ . . . now she comes and feels safe and part of the home, interested in the things around her, in the garden, and interested in my family.”

She enjoys the “genuine relationship and trust” that has developed between her and Rachel. 

Karen supports Rachel to follow her dreams and explore different things beyond what her normal life offers.

“We have our dreams and ambitions in our scrapbook. She has quite a few dreams.

“Not all children have the same opportunities, for many different reasons. Being part of a child’s life is very rewarding - watching them grow and achieve their goals.”

Rachel brings joy to the home, Karen says.

“The relationship builds over time . . . there are small difficulties, but it’s a journey.”

Ongoing communication, “being there, being real and being loyal” are all important, she says.

“Walking over that bridge together.”

The programme has been running in North Otago for almost 30 years, says Buddy Programme coordinator Christine Moffat.

Children are referred to the programme for various reasons.

“It may be because possibly they come from a large family, or they may have a sibling with a disability . . . it would just be a child who just needs that extra one-on-one time with a trusted adult,” Christine says.

Christine is on the hunt for some more adult buddies. She has a waiting list of children, and says it is a small commitment from an adult that can make a huge difference to a child’s life.

The buddies spend two to three hours a week, or even a fortnight, together, doing low or no-cost activities.

“First of all [the adults] come and see me, we do a police check and then we get references and they do a day's training. It's not difficult, it's quite interactive, and I suppose you would say just commonsense stuff really,” she says.

A lot of effort goes into matching a child to the right buddy, Christine says.

“So when I'm matching a child with an adult, I'm thinking about the personality of the adult buddy and the child and the interests that they both have and whether I think they're going to gel together.”

The adult buddy has some say about the age and gender of the child, although men are only matched with boys.

Over the years the local programme has been running, there have been numerous success stories, Christine says. 

“Just the difference that two to three hours a week, or a fortnight, can make.

“We've seen lots of positive things come out of just having that one-on-one time, regularly, that person comes consistently, and that's another person that they can trust outside of the family.”

Christine recommends being a buddy best suits someone who does not have young children who need a lot of time, or their children have grown up.

“Lots of people come into the programme as adult buddies, so quite a cross-section - from 25-year-olds, through to some well into their retirement - and they all do it differently, and for different reasons.”

Being a buddy can be as rewarding for the adult as it is for the child. Photo: Siggy Nowak from Pixabay

Karen was encouraged by a friend to take part in the programme, and admits the idea was out of her comfort zone, but the education and support she has received through the programme put her at ease, she says.

“There is always support if you have any concerns.” 

One mother who has children in the programme joined up because her own mother had passed away when she was young.

“The love I got from my grandmother, I wanted my children to feel that kind of love, which all three have from their buddies.

“The buddy system has been such a blessing for my children,” she says.

The North Otago Buddy Programme has 14 matched up buddies currently, and a number of children sitting on the waiting list, Christine says.

“So we're always on the lookout for more adult buddies to match up with children, and it really is, it's a really cool thing to do.

“Buddies have said to me . . . they didn't realise how much they're going to get out of it, so once they've been in it for a while, they'll come back and say. . . ‘I came into it because I thought that I wanted to give back, but I didn't realise how much I'd get out of it’.”

Teething issues can come up as the relationship develops, but the adult buddy is well supported by the team at Family Works, Christine says.

“And we can also support the family as well if they're needing support.”

After 10 years in the job, Christine says the biggest thing she notices in the children in the buddy programme is an increase in confidence, and willingness to try new things.

“They might be introduced to things that they may not otherwise get to do. and that has led on to some young buddies, when they become adults, say, for example becoming a chef or something like that after they've done cooking together with their adult buddies.” 

Children can be self-referred into the programme by a parent, or any agency in the community can refer them. To find out more about the programme contact Christine on 021 191 6327.

*Karen and Rachel are not their real names.