A new, free programme for parents on how to navigate the tricky teenage years with their children, is coming to Ōamaru.

The Y-Whānau parenting programme offers one two-hour session per week, over six weeks, starting next Wednesday (July 31).

The Y Central South Island community development team leader Jo Skudder says it’s the first time the programme has been offered in Ōamaru, but it has been offered once a term over the past three years in Timaru, as well as Temuka and Fairlie, by The Y, and other organisations prior to that.

The course is aimed at parents of 10 to 16 year-olds, “so we can give them tools before they hit those teenage years”.

“But we also don’t say no to parents, you know, if their kid’s five or their kid’s seventeen . . . it’s a very open space,” Jo says.

The sessions cover adolescent brain development and stages; parental styles and roles, support systems, boundaries and self-care; effective communication tips and tools; how to actively parent and feel good about your role; consequences and choices, and tools to help your teen learn from both; and how to have difficult conversations about sex and drugs.

“But we do try to get the participants to own that space,” Jo says. “So if there's something really pressing, we will focus on that.

“And we never shut down conversations, if we start talking about school or something, and it went off down another path. We would carry that on if they were getting something out of it. 

“It's very much led by them.”

The Y Central South Island (formerly the YMCA) is based in Timaru, where it is busiest and has the most resources.

In Ōamaru, there is an education and a learn-to-drive site, and there are also bases in Ashburton and Christchurch. 

“So it's just about expanding our mahi out into our other sites,” Jo says. 

The course is being made possible by funding from the Waitaki District Council, and has been strongly supported by Ōamaru Public Health nurse Lesley Simpson and St Kevin’s College attendance officer Lesley Henderson.

“I think a lot of parents feel like that once their kid hits 10, 12 that they're on their own, you know, that they should know everything,” Jo says.

“I think the realisation is that they need to be actively parented more as young teenagers than they do even as preschoolers, and stuff really hits home. And how different the world that our young people live in now is, to when we were that age.”

Jo describes herself as a “great advocate” for teenagers and says the programme is a judgement-free space.

“We're advocating for the young people, and getting the parents to see what they need to do to get the most out of their young people . . . because teenage years can be real yuck for some kids.”

Jo brings years of training, experience running the course, and also her own experience with raising her children.

She says the course is “mana-enhancing” and strengths-based.

“And listening to our young people, working with our young people all the time . . .  and the youth are always at the centre of everything we do.”

To make the parenting course as accessible as possible to everyone, there will be kai provided and an onsite babysitting service in the community space next to the Y rooms. Transportation to and from the course is also available for those who would find that helpful, she says.

To get the most benefit, Jo wants people to attend all six classes if they can, in order to help foster relationships and trust with the others there.  

Everything shared in the classes is completely confidential.

“So the only thing I would ever share is if they were going to hurt someone or themselves. Otherwise it stays with me.”

If a parent is really struggling with their teen’s behaviour, this course is a great starting place, Jo says.

“Whether it's a parenting thing where, whether the child needs more help or [the situation] needs a wraparound, that would all come from that course.”

The first night is always a bit awkward, she says. People don’t know what to expect, even Jo herself, and she wants to reassure parents she is not there to judge them on their parenting. 

“In fact, we applaud that they've come to do something about it.

“It's very, very relaxed, even though we can touch on some real yuck stuff . . . I really want it to be a place that they want to come back to, and they feel like they can chat and even bond with some other people in the community.” 

The course runs in two-hour sessions from 6-8pm, over six weeks. It will be held at The Y, Ara Campus at 44 Humber Street.

Registrations can be made by calling Jo on 027 619 8379 or by emailing [email protected], or by phoning Lesley Simpson on 027 430 2002, or Lesley Henderson on 027 488 6521.