According to Te Whare Tapa Whā, taha whānau (family and social connection) is one of the ‘walls’ that hold up the whare (house) that is our wellbeing. Taha whānau is about who makes you feel you belong, who you care about and who you share your life with. Whānau includes extended relationships – not just immediate relatives.
It’s your hoamahi/colleagues, friends, community and the people you care about. You have a unique place and a role to fulfil within your whānau and your whānau contributes to your wellbeing and identity.
Step one: connect with your neighbours
If you’d like to feel more connected to your neighbours, start with small gestures—say hello, share a friendly note, or drop off a card for special occasions. As those connections grow, you can invite people over, organise a neighbourhood get-together, or work together to support someone in need.
Step two: meet new people
- Attend events at your local library
- Volunteer at an opshop or soup kitchen
- Join a faith-based group or attend a church or mosque
- Go to a fitness class
- Find a class or group related to a hobby you’re interested in
- Join a parenting group
Step three: deepen your connections
It might seem easier to make friends at school or work because we see the same people regularly.
The same principle applies when connecting with your local community, consistency is key. Whether it’s a fitness class, volunteering, or attending a religious service, showing up in the same place week after week (or month after month) helps you get to know familiar faces and build stronger connections. Over time, these relationships make it easier to both offer and ask for support when it’s needed.
Step four: connect outside your comfort zone
In your community, you’ll likely meet people with different perspectives and life experiences. That’s part of the beauty of connection - it’s worth staying open-minded, because friendships with people from all walks of life can be surprisingly rewarding.
TIP: if you're someone who moves around a lot, it's still possible to build community. You can apply a lot of this guidance to online community spaces, such as Facebook groups or Discord servers. You can still try to build connections, even if briefly, in your local community too.
